So this just happened...Offspring #3 created a loud guttural sound to indicate that he had ever so efficiently eliminated his bowels and was ready for some assistance to take care of his needs. In other words he pooped and needed someone to "wipe me booty." (He is fluent in Pirate dialect.) I proceeded to go into the bathroom to lovingly offer my help when I discovered the top of the potty seat was stuck to the bottom. I then began to pull on the top until it popped off only to find that the lid wasn't the only thing that popped, or should I use the word plopped? Let's just say that if my goal for today was to wear waste and a horrified expression then I definitely succeeded (green-faced puke emoji here). As I cleaned up I thought to myself, "I'm not cut out for this, like at all. Why is life so overwhelming?"
In my defense, this incident happened at the end of a frustrating day that served as the completion to an even more frustrating week, which was topped off with cutting out sugar from my diet. I'll just let you visualize my emotional state and then empathetically nod because you have been in similar circumstances. But in all sincerity, sometimes I feel like I'm putting one foot in front of the other and trudging through the sludge of being overwhelmed and under-qualified. Have you been here? Are you currently here with me?
I have felt this way on and off throughout my life, but one thing has changed in recent months--I don't view it in a negative light anymore. Is that surprising to you? It definitely is to me! Being overwhelmed and under-qualified aren't usually terms that are associated with radiant positivity. However, the reaction and the purpose of the emotions can have a positive effect on your life. As I type this I am completely multi-tasking by cooking (see recipe below), supervising my two youngest children (with the help of my favorite babysitters, Curious George and Chromebook), sorting my bills and answering work email. As overwhelming as that list is it is also the catalyst for a closer relationship with my Creator. I have interrupted the overwhelming list of "to-do's" multiple times tonight and asked for guidance, a better attitude, a thankful heart. I have stood in silence and waited for the Holy Spirit to speak to my soul. I reach up because I acknowledge that I am under-qualified to complete all of the things I am called to do in this life. Here is the part I HATE to admit--I probably wouldn't spend as much time in God's presence talking and listening if I felt capable to tackle everything on my own. Man! I SO WISH this wasn't true, but I know in my gut that it is a fact. I've decided that I would rather be overwhelmed and under-qualified than underwhelmed and over-qualified. One set of traits encourages me to rely on God the other encourages me to rely on myself.
Psalm 61:2 gives great advice, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." We weren't designed to shoulder the brunt of all our responsibilities, passions, purposes, and callings. We may feel in-over-our-heads and that is a good place to be because it serves as a reminder to spend more time with the Father, the giver of peace and wisdom.
Word of caution here: don't get mad at your circumstances and attempt to "punish" God with your stubbornness. Don't refuse to pray or worship Him because you aren't where you think you should be in life. Don't wallow in self-pity, jealousy and judgement. Just don't. I spent a great many years on Planet Pissed-Off and it did absolutely nothing for my character, overall life outlook, or achievement of goals. Pray now. Seriously, now. Ask for forgiveness and guidance and wisdom. Ask for newness of spirit and attitude. Ask for clarity of purpose. And then thank Him for His patience and His love...even if you don't feel either one of those things right now.
I hope this blog serves as food for thought and food for your soul...here is the recipe I referenced above for some "real" food (Whole30, GF and Paleo compliant). It is perfect for overwhelming days when you still want to make good nutrition a priority.
Triple S Skillet
-1 lb spicy sausage
-1 lg. sweet potato
-5 oz. baby spinach
-1 small yellow onion
-Brown spicy sausage in skillet over medium heat.
-Dice onion and sweet potato.
-Once sausage is browned, add in onion and sweet potato. Cook approx. 15 minutes over medium heat or until sweet potato is softened.
-Add in spinach and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.
-Season and serve!